Variety is Not a Code Word for Fat

Photo from the  Athletes, more photos available on Bored Panda.

When I say that I prefer when a variety of body types and abilities are represented, it is generally assumed that I want fat women dancing in commercials. It's not uncommon for cis het men to interrupt me and say, "I prefer when a woman has more meat on her bones!" Because, you know, my desire to see more types of women must mean that I want the male gaze to be turned towards my meat shell. So let me be clear:

"A variety of body types" is not code for "fat chicks."

It really does mean that I'd like to see a variety of body types and genders. I'd like different heights and shapes and races to be represented. I'd like to see a wider range of ages and abilities. The photo above is one panel from the book, Athletes, and there are more photos posted on Bored Panda. This one only shows women, but there are more photos available.

When "variety of body types" equates to "fat chicks," you get statements that "real men" prefer women with meat on their bones. Real Men don't need to have a preferred type of woman. Real Men don't need to prefer women. Men have a wide variety of preferences, and they might not prefer women, or anyone, at all! Saying that real men open doors, real men like a chick they can grab onto, real men prefer women who can cook, real men, real men, real men, real men... There is no single type of real man anymore then there is one perfect kind of woman!

Which leads me to my next rant. These so-called real people? What distinguishes them from everybody else? They aren't sitting down and dehumanizing other people as "their perfect type." They see and believe that there is a huge variety of people in the world, each with their own styles and preferences, different levels of intelligence and education, different knowledge and background, different histories and lives and bodies.

Treat Me Like Your Mother by The Dead Winter

"Stand up like a man

You better learn to shake hands

Look me in the eye now,

Treat me like your mother

C'mon look me in the eye."

People deserve respect. Respecting people has nothing to do with preferences or types. It isn't about orientation or race. It is about treating everybody with the idea that human beings are not required to match someone's specific preferences. Human beings are not required to look and feel and act the way I do, the way I want all those around me to do. When we create a population of individuals who are deemed worthy of being treated like people then there will always be the "other" who is not as worthy of our respect. So stop pulling that bullshit about treating someone like your mother, sister, brother, cousin, whatever. Treat everybody with respect. They don't have to be like your mom to be worthy of your attention, and we don't even know if you like your mom!

Summary: I don't idealize fat women. I don't expect all men to have muscles. I don't expect everybody to be a twenty year old blond who is limber enough to put her legs behind her head. I do expect that everybody be treated with respect and tolerance.