Preschool Teachers are Insane

I think preschool teachers are absolutely fucking insane. The work they do for the money they make? I wouldn't survive a week in a daycare. I can't think of a dollar amount that you could pay me that would be enough to attempt to do all the work that preschool teachers do, and they do it without taping the children's mouth shut, tying them to the chairs, or essentially violating any other child abuse and basic human decency laws.

You'd think that people automatically assuming that preschool teachers are "too dumb" to teach older kids wouldn't surprise me, but it does. Has anybody looked at what preschooler teachers do? They have to be experts on every topic because you never know what a three year old is going to want to know about.

It's important to know how individual children are learning from an early age, so preschool teachers have to be able to perform assessments on the kids in their care and  evaluate their learning level and abilities. They need to catch any "early warning" signs that a child might need extra or different help.  The preschool teachers evaluate learning levels and abilities, and they sometimes work with children whose parents refuse to acknowledge or accept that a child would benefit from a different style of learning.

Preschool teachers work with children who are in some cases just barely able to talk. The ones who do talk are apt to jump from topic to topic faster than I can follow, and I generally jump topics every few sentences. I live next to a preschooler and a toddler, and I rarely know what they're telling me. The oldest will say they went to the park and the youngest will say something that appears to be, "tew98afs  oasdoiwer," while I stare at the grandparents asking for translations. The grandparents say, "We usually don't know what he's saying," the older sister says, "I know!  I love the slide, too!" The preschool teacher spent all day with the kids and would already know about the trip to the park and be able to understand what the preschooler was communicating. Preschool teachers work with the children from the time they are little, so they learn their personality and non-verbal cues as well as their verbal abilities. Even when a child is verbal, they might not be coherent. If you think a crying adult is difficult to understand, listen to a three year old sobbing and panting and attempting to tell you what's wrong!.

Preschool teachers provide all this individualized attention while tracking an entire classroom of little kids. Preschool teachers skip personal bathroom breaks and might manage to scarf some food down during lunchtime, but they're usually too busy making sure the youth in their care don't choke on their lunch. They're also busy keeping track of individualized notes from parents with specific instructions (for example, please tell me what time my child uses the bathroom and what the consistency of each movement is).


Preschool teachers are skilled at first aid, and yes, performing Heimlich on a three year old is very different than on an adult. They can fix booboos. They also track booboos, watch for physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of physical abuse, and sometimes cry their eyes out when they get home because they are mandated reporters and watched a child covered in filth and bruises go off with children's services while the police wait to arrest the parents at pick-up time.

Nothing that happens in your house is a surprise to the preschool teacher. Most children describe their home life in bizarre detail, and thankfully preschool teachers are the height of discretion (although perhaps giggling with their coworkers about the specific acrobatic feats you were accomplishing when your child walked in on you). Preschool teachers also field statements like, "Lift up your shirt and show me your boobies!" without lifting an eyebrow or assuming that the parents are deranged.

Preschool teachers make sure your children are aware that we play on the playground and pee in the bathroom. They clean up after children who have accidents or make messes, and there will be both in preschool - paint all over the floor?  No problem!  Pee all over your nap mat? Easy peasy! Many parents have difficulty getting their one or two children to lie down, but these preschool teachers get 20 children napping simultaneously every single day.

I'm sure you're aware that the toys at preschools need to be kept disinfected.  Do you think there's a disinfectant fairy who shows up?  Nope. The preschool teachers do it. They also spend their evenings on lesson plans. 

Oh, and like all other levels of teachers, they buy supplies for their classroom out of their own pocket, and they do it on a much lower salary.
Preschool teachers generally don't have health care or sick days, but they're constantly getting sick because mommy had to go to work and sent Johnny in with a stomach flu hoping that the school wouldn't notice all the projectile vomiting. When they stay home because they caught the stomach flu, again, they do it without pay. They get paid less than grammar school teachers. Heck, they are lucky if they get paid as much as the part-time softball coach at the junior high school.

You'll never convince me that people who are smart enough to do all of that, and do it for a salary that isn't a living wage, aren't bat shit crazy.