Consent Tastes Like Entenmann's!

So apparently some people think consent talk ruins the mood. These are obviously folks that I don't get down and funky with. Of course, consent talk can definitely be done with a throaty voice whispering, "May I kiss you?" in your ear, but sometimes it requires a bit more finesse. There might be topics involved that require more of an ability to think clearly and not be distracted, and lets face it, even when consent conversations take place in a non-sexual environment where you aren't touching or talking dirty, consent conversations rock - no whispering or dirty talk required!  

Seriously, though, talking about consent doesn't need to be hot to be interesting, and it doesn't need to involve dirty talk and lingerie. Consent talk is best when it's held before there is a mood to interrupt so that nobody's hormones push them into something they're not ready for, and if consent talk makes you uninterested in participating in the yummy activities you're discussing, then maybe you shouldn't be at that stage of play, yet!

Here's an example of what some of my consent talk has looked like.

Picture it, Sicily, 1922, a young and nubile young Italian woman...

Oh... wait... wrong dialogue. Scuse me while I step back.

Picture two people (one is you) sitting in the kitchen. There's yellow curtains and a well-loved table that generations have obviously sat at. The coffee pot has a bit still left in the bottom. You're sitting at the table, across from each other, not touching, with Entntenmann's crumb cake on dessert plates in front of you. Your conversational tones are matter of fact, as though you're discussing what to wear to church on Sunday (hey, I might not be Christian, but I grew up Methodist, and this is what Sunday afternoons often looked like at my house!).

The other person tilts their head and looks at you then says, "I'm not interested in dating someone right now. Would you be interested in being intimate without a relationship?"

"I think that sounds lovely."

Now watch them blush while they look into their cup before peeking at you through their eyelashes and saying, "Oh good. I'd really love it if we kissed and touched for a while before getting naked. I'd love to get to know you better, but I also can't stop thinking about what it would be like if you nibbled my ear."

Now imagine responding to them with a sneaky grin and saying, "I've been wondering what you would look like if I tangled my fingers in your hair, pulled your head back, and kissed you deeply. I'd love to spend all night exploring your clothed body. Should we leave slowly removing each others' clothes off and licking each piece of skin as it is revealed for next time? I love the idea of just learning the sounds you make when I nip your neck or touch my tongue to the inside of your elbow."

Watching them think about both ideas... DUDE. Fully clothed and melty making! Normal conversational tones. No touching. Sitting several feet away from each other. NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT GETTING NAKED. And yet hot... so. damned. hot.