Simplifying Proposal Text

The above comic is from Grammarly. I planned to post this as a Board Worthy comic, but I'm editing a proposal document and want to discuss how this article works within my proposal writing world.

"Crazy Crazy Nights" is not kept simple.

1. KISS
The first thing listed in the article was KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid), a popular phrase used by some English professors. I subscribe to the idea of clear and concise writing even though I avoid this acronym. I never know who will review my proposals, so I define acronyms and technical terms the first time they are used and use the most basic wording possible. I edit documents repeatedly before submission to ensure clarity,.

It's important that proposal reviewers not receive a cluttered and confusing conglomerate of chaotic verbiage that confounds them. They have an unknown number of documents to review;  I want my proposal to be the easiest for them to follow.

Page number requirements are guidelines for maximum length. If the government provides 35 pages for Section 1, and I can answer the question fully in 34 pages, I don't pad it with excess information.

Some examples of extraneous text I look for are as follows:

• In order to supply the appropriate materials on time, we follow a strict scheduling protocol created specifically for each project. The project schedule for this project can be found in the graphic below. "In order to do something" is unnecessary. I just state what we do. Here is one way to rewrite those three lines of text:
  We follow strict protocols as per the following project schedule.
• We believe it is important to maintain stability because....Of course we believe stability is important! If it wasn't important, I wouldn't have included the statement in the proposal. I remove all "we believes" unless I am quoting the company philosophy and code of ethics:
  Stability is important because...
• First we create a detailed service plan, and then, secondly, we will submit the service plan to the County Thirdly, we will use the service plan as the basis for creating project goals, which include X, Y, and Z.I attended a Shipley's training where the Contracting Office noted that we would be lucky if the proposal reviewers spent 30 to 45 seconds skimming each page of our proposal. Following is a way to rewrite this paragraph to catch their attention.
  1. Create a detailed service plan.
  2.  Submit the service plan to the County within five days.
  3.  Create project goals based on the service plan. Project goals include X, Y, and Z.

2.  Be Consistent
The article's example of consistency is to either always spell out the word "percent" or always use the percent symbol. It's a great example! However, my proposal consistency problems revolve around tense. I fall into the habit of discussing what we will do, but I am usually discussing something we currently do for this client or for another client. We provide this service, and we're proposing to provide this service for you! The only place I use future tense is to discuss something new that we will do for this specific client. During one of the final edits I do a search and find to re-read every sentence with the word "will" to correct tense before my final proof.

3.  Leave the Robot for the Dance Floor
This crazy expression they've listed is to remind you that your text should sound like a real person is writing it. My teachers used to say "write like you're sitting at the table explaining your topic to the reader" so your writing is more approachable. Technical proposals do require language specific to the discipline, but it is still possible to create a connection with the reader. I use the "we" pronoun when discussing my company unless there is a specific reason I cannot do so. Instead of saying that "Widgets Company (Widgets) is proposing to provide lorum ipsum services to the County. Widgets has over 35 years of experience working with the County and other agencies within the state." I might say the following: "Widgets Company (Widgets) proposes to provide lorum ipsum services to the County. We have partnered with the County and other Utah agencies for over 35 years."

A proposal is not a theoretical document. I want my clients to know that we value our connection with them.

4.  Review, Review, and (did we say?) Review
Everyone knows how important proofreading is, and yet it's easy to forget. Following are several steps that I take when I am complete my last proof:

1.  Do a computer spell check.
2. Search for misspelled words that won't be caught by spellcheck. I often type the name "bridget" instead of the word "bridge." A coworker once left the L out of the word public on a proposal, so I always do a search for that word as well.
3. Check on the screen that my page breaks are realistic.
1.  Make sure my orphan/widow control is correct.
2. Verify that my headers did stay with the text that follows them and not end up alone at the bottom of the page.
4. Make sure all references are correct (e.g., if I wrote "see page 3," I want the text to actually be on page 3).
5. Print and review a hard copy. When I was a writing tutor at a university in the mid-2000s, students insisted this was an "unnecessary" step. However, my proposals always include hard copies for the reviewers, and I need to see what my client will see.
6. Re-check that photocopies of color graphics will work as black and white photocopies in case the client makes extra copies of them.
7. Walk away and review the document again later or the next day. This is a goal, but as a proposal writer, my document is often being done at the last second. Internal reviewers often return their edits so late that I'm lucky to have the time to print and produce the document on time. 
8. Ask another writer to read the final proposal for glaring errors and to make sure all questions were answered fully.

I take pride in my work and want it to be perfect, but with strict deadlines and internal reviewers who don't prioritize proposals, I am usually finishing my documents at the last second. I never read a proposal immediately after it is out of my hands. Instead I take a deep breath and celebrate the end of my hard work. Usually the celebration lasts at least five minutes before I get to work on the next proposal.

I always need text from previous proposals, so I know that I'll be reading my proposal again in the future. When I find the mistakes in old proposals, I correct them going forward. The stress of focusing on old mistakes or blame for their occurrences is a waste. I just fix them for future documents and get on with my work.